Upper class yobs
It turns out the person who mindlessly vandalised mine and my partner’s bike outside a pub in Islington last night was the extremely posh middle-aged lady who lived in the million pound property next door. Locking our bikes against her railings was obviously too much for her to bear. The locals in the pub had initially covered for her by saying they saw some kids messing with the bikes (and suggesting that we move them) but the non-locals confirmed that an apoplectic woman demanded that the bikes from her mansion be removed or she was going to damage them (we were out of ear-shot in the back room). We found them with flattened tyres and damaged wheels – and at the time thinking through our possible courses of action (brick through window, pitchfork through woman) we settled on going to the police for criminal damage. Any better suggestions gratefully received…
3 Comments:
Burn Her!
Take the mansion and puncture it with the miserable cow's own railings. I've got a spare trowel if you need any implments. Teeth work just as well though, preferably her own, especially if they're brown, which I suspect they are.
easy now
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